When Surya’s life took a dark turn after an early marriage at 21, she went into depression. Pushed to the limits after eight years of abuse and gaslighting, she attempted to end her life but was thankfully saved by her father. Eventually, she broke free from the toxic relationship, resumed her studies, and found a job as a pharmacist in the UAE.
Though an independent professional now, Surya says she is still working towards emotional recovery. Healing is not a straight road for most divorcees and it is only recently that the 36-year-old found the ideal space to process her grief — at Break Free Stories, a divorcee collective started by Malappuram resident Rafia Afi. “Sharing my story with people who truly understood my pain, and who listened without judgment, was an entirely new experience for me. It felt much more impactful than years of therapy,” says Surya.
In May this year, about 20 women converged on the hill town of Vagamon in Kerala’s Idukki district for the first-ever offline camp organised by Break Free Stories. Until then, the group had been active largely on WhatsApp and Instagram. For some women, the camp was their first-ever time travelling alone.
The group comprised divorcees, widows, and separated women. They stayed in tents, went trekking, played games and participated in icebreaker sessions, where they shared deeply personal experiences.
“I try to keep the number of attendees under 20 because people open up more easily in smaller groups. We also have a legal advisor to help participants, especially in cases where women are engaged in long-drawn legal battles,” says Rafia. “However, I also know many women face restrictions that prevent them from attending these camps in person. For them, I’m working on conducting online sessions,” she adds.
In need of a support system
Rafia Ali, founder of Break Free Stories
The subsequent camps took place in Alappuzha and Kozhikode, followed by an international session in Dubai. “I had to make a personal visit to Dubai, and during that time, the tragic death of Vipanchika Maniyan (the 32-year-old Kerala woman who was found dead with her 18-month-old daughter in Sharjah reportedly over dowry harassment) had garnered significant media attention,” says Rafia.
She points out that many women choose to move out of India after divorce to survive the trauma and stigma. “I was getting a lot of enquires from Dubai and the meetup was planned as a one-night, two-day staycation. However, no one slept that night as the women cried, hugged each other and confirmed that their trauma was real and not their fault. They’ve since formed a highly active support group,” she says.
Rafia explains that her own experience navigating the emotional turmoil of divorce spurred her to create Break Free Stories. “I’m a divorcee myself, and even with a strong support system of family and friends, the process was incredibly difficult for me,” she says. “Later, when I started creating online content, many people began reaching out to me. I quickly realised that countless women were struggling with the stress and grief of divorce with absolutely no support. That’s what prompted me to organise the first camp.”
Finding common ground
Many women arrive at the meetings with a lot of apprehensions, but they quickly discover a comfortable and supportive environment. As one participant shares, “It’s a place where you can unburden easily. We were surrounded by women who offered immediate, unspoken understanding. Interacting with them generated a sense of belonging, and I felt empowered. Also, it’s a beautiful experience to see women coming out of their cocoons and embracing their true selves for the first time.”
Break Free Stories has now blossomed into a community connecting over a hundred women, with its Instagram page followed by thousands. While notifications about upcoming camps and videos garner many views, the platform also sees negative comments, including those about the “futility” of the camps and suggesting that the women should instead focus on finding new partners. “The comments section of my Instagram page is really bad, but that’s okay,” says Rafia, undeterred. “Marriage is beautiful when you find the right person, but the end of a relationship is not the end of life, and that’s the message I want to spread.”
(Assistance for overcoming suicidal thoughts is available on Tele-MANAS 14416.)
navamy.sudhish@thehindu.co.in
Published – August 21, 2025 09:49 am IST
