Even as the aftermath of every caste killing occupies predominant space in all discussions and with the media outlets presuming that it would provide support to the victims or their families, the real ordeal the families face is often not revealed or remains underreported.
Though data suggests that a little over 50 murders related to caste violence have been registered between 2017 and 2025 in Tamil Nadu, not all the cases get equal attention from both the public and media.
Starting from the murder of Shankar to the latest C. Kavin Selvaganesh, the ensuing life of the victims or the surviving families or friends, taking a difficult and different path, often ends up fighting the perpetrators in courts and juggling through the obstacles that life throws at them.
Only few of the victims cum survivors like Gowsalya who lost her husband Shankar to the indiscriminate caste-motivated murder committed by the former’s family members, have overcome the painful past to fight against the system.
Known as an activist, Ms. Gowsalya, has gracefully learned to lean towards democratic ideologies to wage her fight against the castiest ideology and its strongholds.
Notwithstanding the years of torment she had endured at the hands of the society, she had reiterated that it would not disturb her, as “she has taken refuge in the ideas of leaders who dedicated their life fighting the caste practice.”
She continues to make strides by being one of the invitees for the International Visitor Leadership Program in the USA.
On the other hand, there are also incidents which have completely shattered the lives of survivors.
In 2016, Kalpana, 27, the sister of a Scheduled Caste youth was stabbed to death by the parents of the caste Hindu girl with whom her brother had eloped in Thoothukudi. The parents had mercilessly stabbed her to death frustrated over their daughter getting married to a boy of another caste.
Sargunam, husband of Kalpana, who is yet to overcome the murder that took place in front of his eyes about nine years ago, said at that time they had a 1.5-year-old boy and Kalpana was pregnant.
“Our small family was completely shattered after the murder. We could at least get over it if we had any connection to the relationship of my wife’s brother,” he added.
He recalled that they were clueless about the relationship and the marriage of his brother-in-law with the caste Hindu girl.
However, hard they tried to explain this to the girl’s family and even lodged a complaint with the police to prove their innocence, the unconvinced parents of the girl hacked Mr. Sargunam’s wife in front of their house.
Though his brother-in-law and the girl he married were living a peaceful life, the murder overturned his life and his children’s.
He worries how anger at someone could shift so dangerously to anyone related to that person.
Mr. Sargunam said that till that time he could not understand how everything works in the name of just pride and ego.
“If any law exists to define this as something related to caste pride and honour many such crimes could be identified.” Since this did not pertain to the inter-caste couple, how could this be not termed as a caste killing, he questioned.
M. Mariyammal, mother of the 21-year-old man Alagendran, another SC (Arundhathiyar) youth, who was murdered by a group of men of the same SC (Pallar) community for being in relationship with a girl, is going through a similar ordeal.
She wondered how even being in a different sect of the same community could be considered a dishonour to their (accused) family.
“Both of our families reside in the same locality, and we both go through the same discrimination, and we both face the same rejections. But how could someone, in this situation, still think of someone as below them,” she asked.
Maybe, she said, their family was not economically on par with the girl’s family, but how could that be reason to completely eliminate someone.
“They were not even trying to marry or anything. Alagendran and the girl from the perpetrator’s family were just in a relationship which developed over the years,” Ms. Mariyammal recalled.
She painfully remembered how their family found their son whom they had raised for 21 years in a shattered condition after three days in a secluded forest with bruises and blood stains.
“We had shared food and even participated in the same weddings and other events, but when it came to relating with someone whom they considered below, they could not withstand it,” she said.
Though the incident happened before a year, the family could not still get out of the fear of being killed anytime by someone whom they had seen as a family.
Selvam, who lost his daughter to the same man who loved her and impregnated her was confused how both love and caste work at the same time.
“My daughter Ramya, 22, while she worked in a private hospital in Madurai fell in love with a man named Sathish Kumar, 36, from a caste Hindu community. As they both were desperate about the relationship, they even got married against the will of both families,” he added.
Within few months after the marriage, the same man who stood against his family for the woman he loved, began harassing her in the name of caste and pride.
“As my daughter could not withstand the harassment and the slurs thrown at her went to the verge of taking her own life,” he recalled.
Despite Ramya returning to her father’s house in Theni, upon the insistence of her husband and his family that she would be taken care of, she went again to their house.
“But within a few days, we were invited by Sathish Kumar’s family to only witness our daughter lying dead in a pool of blood at their house,” he added.
Even when his daughter wished to end her life, the perpetrators, who could not stand their child growing in her womb, decided to take the life of both his daughter and the foetus.
“Though we feared about repercussions that we would have to face, it was only due to the love of the couple we believed they would survive. But, not even in our dreams, did we imagine that the very man who promised her life would kill her,” he added.
More than the emotional loss the families suffer, the other thing that extends as a thread through these incidents is how honour plays in different roles and how it sees death as the only solution to protect itself.
